CRAFTY FOX'S SUPER SONG AND DANCE

CRAFTY FOXX

"Heeheehee! Henry, isn't it? A fine name, if I do say so, a truly fine name for such a fine-looking strapping young fellow as yourself! Well Mr. Henry, allow me to introduce myself: my name is Mr. Fox....Crafty Fox, at your service. I've run the er, security side of things here at the House for more years than an old fox can rightly remember! Always on the lookout I am, never seen but never far away, keeping an eye out for whatever bad critters might want lay a harmful hand on some of these children I admire so. And I just thought I'd mention that I know an absolutely wonderful game, an absolute doozy of a groovetastic superlicious good time....I know you'd really like it! Just get everyone into the main hall inside and I'll show you the ropes!"

HENRY
(Racing back towards the others)

Hey....guys!
I just met a fellow named Crafty Fox, and he seemed like a pretty good guy
Told me all about a little game he knows, maybe we should give it a try

HENRY, FELIX, MADELINE, LUCIE

He's gonna take us to a magical land, a kingdom far away
Let's go to the great hall, he'll show us how to play

HENRY

I really want to play!

(Now CRAFTY takes HENRY'S arm once again and guides him a little way apart from the others, then leads them all back into the Great Entry Hall of the House)

CRAFTY FOXX

"Ah yes, young Henry, I can see I was right about you....A fox is rarely wrong in assessing character....and what a gifted prodigy, what a character you are indeed. Excellent job my boy. Now....we need everybody to link arms, snap their fingers in time, and sing this little song I've composed. This is in fact a magical song, and this particular magic will put us all in a most exquisite and quite salubrious magical sleep. Then, when you're all trapped....er....I mean....when you've all napped, we will find ourselves in the mystical land of Laer Ecalpon, and we can start our adventures....so ah, whenever you're ready...."

(MILO has been looking very skeptically at the newcomer and now grabs SERAFINA and pulls her aside, and points at CRAFTY.)

MILO

Psst! Hey, Fina!
I don't know about Crafty Fox, I don't like the look in his eye
Runs a line of patter so friendly like but he seems just a little too sly

MILO, SERAFINA

Teacher Tess never mentioned a security guard, but we better just play along
Just a song and dance, whatever could go wrong

MILO, SERAFINA, ALL THE KIDS

Nothing can go wrong!

CRAFTY FOXX
(Having overheard MILO'S concerns)

"oh...oh...Master Milo, I must admit, you do disappoint me. To be so misjudged....but of course I'm used to it. The reputation of the fox is an unsavory one, and I'll be the first to acknowledge that our general duplicitous image has been reinforced by the many mendacious meddlings of my more unscrupulous brethren. But give me a chance, young sir, one chance is all I ask. You won't regret it....ah, I can see that you'll be broadminded after all. Most admirable....now if everybody's ready, here we go!--Let's all snap our fingers and sing the magic lullaby! Sweet dreams kiddies!"

(He has assembled all the KIDS into a circle. Now they all link their arms while kneeling on the floor and start snapping their fingers, while CRAFTY paces among them, conducting with a cane.)

CRAFTY FOXX, HENRY

Beep beep, everybody goes to sleep
Beep beep, ain't nobody makin' no peep
Beep beep, everybody goes to sleep
Beep beep, falling in a sleep so deep....
FALL DOWN!

CRAFTY FOXX, ALL THE KIDS

Beep beep, everybody goes to sleep
Beep beep, ain't nobody makin' no peep
Beep beep, everybody goes to sleep
Beep beep, falling in a sleep so deep....
FALL DOWN!

(Now the KIDS continue the song on their own while CRAFTY FOXX waves his hands in the casting of a magic spell and sprinkles the KIDS with some sort of glittery green dust.)

THE KIDS CRAFTY FOXX

Beep beep, everybody goes to sleep Down deep, children close your eyes
Beep beep, ain't nobody makin' no peep Shrink to tiny size
Beep beep, everybody goes to sleep Sight unseen
Beep beep, falling in a sleep so deep.... Deep in waters green
FALL DOWN! Fall Down!

(Now the KIDS' eyes are closed and they are clearly in a trance, though they continue to sing. The lights have gone down to almost complete blackness, and CRAFTY paints the KIDS' faces with flourescent Green Paint which stands out in the darkness.)

THE KIDS CRAFTY FOXX

Beep beep, everybody goes to sleep Down deep, children close your eyes
Beep beep, ain't nobody makin' no peep Shrink to tiny size
Beep beep, everybody goes to sleep Sight unseen
Beep beep, falling in a sleep so deep.... Deep in waters green
FALL DOWN! Fall Down!


THE KIDS, CRAFTY FOXX

Down, down.....
Down, down.....
Down, down.....

(Now the kids have fallen into a sleep and they slump to the floor, while CRAFTY dances to and fro with manic excitement.)

CRAFTY FOXX

"Hurhurrrh! Hahha! I did it Bubsy! You see that! Eight little kiddies deep in a trance, all shrunk to the size of a pinhead! Trapped inside a little bubble at the bottom of that confounded lake! How nice of them to take your place! Well Bubsy it's been a long time but you're FREE again! Woohoo!"

(And CRAFTY shakes his fists at the sky and jumps about with glee. Meanwhile the lights come up Green and Aqua and we see that we are Underwater, with Bubbles rising and little Fishes swimming around. Now a spotlight comes up on BUBSY BEALS upstage center, who is rising up out of the lake while playing a loud guitar solo. At the climax of the guitar solo the lights get much brighter and the KIDS all wake up with a start, suddenly realizing their predicament.)

HENRY

I guess that game wasn't really so cool
I guess Mr. Fox played me for a fool
I guess I shoulda known that smile was a fake

ALL THE KIDS

Now we're really in trouble
Trapped in a bubble.....

THE KIDS BUBSY BEALS

I guess that game wasn't really so cool Hello world, Bubsy's loose once more!
CRAFTY: He's loose once more!
I guess Mr. Fox played me for a fool And I'm ready to settle the score!
CRAFTY: Settle the score!
I guess I shoulda known that smile So better get ready to lose this war!
was a fake CRAFTY: Say goodbye to the kiddies
BUBSY & CRAFTY
Now we're really in trouble Cause they're really in trouble yes trouble so
deep Cause they're trapped in a bubble
Trapped in a bubble..... cause they all fell asleep....

Looks like Mr Foxx cast a sneaky spell Hello world, Bubsy's loose once more!
CRAFTY: He's loose once more!
So here we are locked in a watery hell And I'm ready to settle the score!
CRAFTY: Settle the score!
Ain't no way to make this magic break So better get ready to lose this war!
CRAFTY: Say goodbye to the kiddies
BUBSY & CRAFTY
Now we're really in trouble Cause they're really in trouble yes trouble so
deep Cause they're trapped in a bubble
Trapped in a bubble..... cause they all fell asleep....

(Now BUBSY has risen all the way out of the Water and has joined CRAFTY, and the two of them jeer at the trapped kids, while all sorts of colored lights and strobes flash crazily.)

THE KIDS

Who knew, who knew?

BUBSY AND CRAFTY

Oh boo hoo hoo!

THE KIDS

Now what we gonna do?

BUBSY AND CRAFTY

Oh boo hoo hoo!

MILO

Henry should have known that smile was a fake!

SERAFINA

Stop it Milo for goodness sake!

CRAFTY FOXX

Bubsy, this was a piece of cake!

(And the flashing lights and the loud music reach a climax.)

THE KIDS, BUBSY AND CRAFTY

Really in trouble
Trapped in a bubble....
Down at the bottom of the lake!

(The house suddenly blacks out and all music stops on the word 'lake'. Then after a moment has passed we see Little Jack all alone in the great Hall of the house, lit by only a small spotlight.)

LITTLE JACK
(scared and timid)

Hey, where'd everybody go?

(Then one final huge chord and the house blacks out again except for flashing strobe lights, while BUBSY and CRAFTY jump up and down; then black again.)

END OF ACT 1