TESS, YOU SHOULD'NA DONE ME WRONG

(Now BUBSY BEALS lights another cigar and puffs himself up to his full size, and with CRAFTY FOXX by his side, advances on the KIDS and TEACHER TESS back in the great hall. The lights change to blue and purple and the KIDS cower back against the bannister, LITTLE JACK hiding in the skirts of TEACHER TESS.)

BUBSY BEALS

Damn! Foiled again!
By the sneaky little kid and the mother hen.
Lost without my crystal ball,
It looks like my back's up against the wall.
But I'll turn this around, oh yes
I always come back strong
So listen now pretty Tess
You should'na done me wrong
No, no, ya should'na done me wrong
No, no, ya should'na done me wrong

HENRY

It's okay. I don't think he can hurt us.

TEACHER TESS

No, without this crystal ball he has lost half his power.

BUBSY BEALS

Makes me so mad.
Just when things were going so good too.

MILO

Aww, you were headed for a fall, big guy!

(The rest of the KIDS pull the suddenly audacious MILO back away from BUBSY; now BUBSY turns his wrath on CRAFTY FOXX.)

Hey Crafty, you let me down
Guess I'll just say "see you round".

CRAFTY FOXX

Er, why, Bubsy? No need to overreact here....

BUBSY BEALS

Come on now, this ain't no joke
I think it's your turn to go up in smoke

(BUBSY now waves his hand at CRAFTY FOXX, who suddenly goes up in sulfurous flames.)

CRAFTY FOXX

Aww no! Nooooooo! Too hot....TOO HOT!

BUBSY BEALS

But I'll turn this around, oh yes
I always come back strong
So listen now pretty Tess
You should'na done me wrong
No, no, ya should'na done me wrong
No, no, ya should'na done me wrong

TEACHER TESS

I never did you wrong. I let you live when you had tried to take my life and the lives of so many others.

BUBSY BEALS
(indifferently)

I hate when that happens.
Ruins my whole day.

SERAFINA

You're a bad man, Mr. Bubsy Beals! A bad bad man and nobody likes you!

BUBSY BEALS
(chuckling)

Aw now c'mon little girl, yer breakin' my heart!

SERAFINA

It's not Tess's fault you tried to destroy the kingdom and they had to put you in the lake! That's a lot nicer than I would have done!

BUBSY BEALS

Yeah, well, anyway, guess it looks like they shoulda finished me off when they had the chance!

MILO

And it certainly wasn't very nice to vaporize Mr. Foxx like that! He was only doing everything you told him to!

BUBSY

Aww.. there, there my little snot-nose! I can reconstitute ol' Crafty any time I want out of sawdust, charcoal, and pine needles! But you know, I think instead of Crafty, your chief concern really ought to be the plight of your beloved parents....

MILO

What d'you mean?

SERAFINA

Yeah, what do you mean?

BUBSY BEALS

Oh, no time to explain now, I really must be going. Dear me, look at the time.

(Now BUBSY makes as if to leave, then thinks better of it and turns back to deliver this last verse as a parting shot.)

But before I say toodle-oo
Boys and girls let me tell you something that is true

MILO

What do you know about our parents you vile ogre?

BUBSY BEALS

Tess you remember your old flame?
Volcano Boy, one and the same!

SERAFINA

Teacher Tess's prince is really Volcano Boy? That means he's still alive!

BUBSY BEALS

Yeah that's right, I stole him away
Your boyfriend's working for me today

TEACHER TESS

I knew there had to be some reason he never came back!

BUBSY BEALS

And now I leave to join my faithful slave
Atop a stony black mountain in a sulfur cave

TEACHER TESS
(composing herself)

The important thing is, where are the kings and queens Bubsy?

BUBSY BEALS

And I'll turn this around, oh yes
I always come back strong
So listen now pretty Tess
You should'na done me wrong
No, no, ya should'na done me wrong
No, no, ya should'na done me wrong
I think I've said too much.
See y'all in the climactic final scene.

(BUBSY BEALS pulls out a flame-red guitar and rips a shredding guitar solo as he flees the scene using his magic teleportation power, or maybe just by ducking out a window. Then suddenly the sound of a telephone ringing gets louder and louder. The KIDS look around but there is no phone in sight. Finally HENRY points to the Crystal Ball.)

FELIX

Henry! Henry--what's that sound? Henry--do you hear it? What could that be?

HENRY

It's coming from that crystal ball!

MADELINE

What is it?

HENRY

Huh! Seems like we're getting some sort of message....I think it's from the kings and queens!

(And now we see the SIX GROWNUPS, high above the stage, trapped atop a smoky volcano. Their faces are smeared with soot, they are wounded, their armor is blackened and torn apart, and in general they look defeated in a desperate battle.)